I feel a little better from the last time I updated. The only thing that bums me out lately is that I don't have many people I hang out with. No one calls me, but I don't call anyone either so I should just shut up. I want to start being more social. I want to go out to bars and maybe talk to different people. That would be nice. I don't really know where to start. I have other people I could try to go out with, but I am scared. I don't really like any of the people I have associated with for the past 4 years or so. They just gross me out. They, as a group, have adopted the model "No Future, Less Hope." it's a joke, I'm sure, but I think it's true. They are all generally older and the more you "party" the cooler you are. Hey, I like having a good time, but I don't like to be wasted to the point of falling over and acting like a complete idiot. I am annoyed by them going to the bathroom in groups all secretive. OH, NO ONE CAN TELL YOU'RE DOING COKE. NO ONE. Blegh. :/ I dunno. I think they think I'm uptight. Maybe I am. Who knows?

I have been off all psychiatric meds for 8 months and I generally feel okay mentally. Sometimes I get bummed but nothing too major. Sometimes I cry because I am sad, but I can handle it. I think I just get the "normal" sad now. Sometimes I get a little anxious. Sometimes I feel a little manic. I just go through the emotions like I am supposed to. Nothing too debilitating. I'm not happy, and I am not sad (yay Moz!). I just am.

I am on the hunt for new items for my wardrobe. I need new shoes. and brightly colored tights, and mid-waist belts. I need an eyebrow wax. I will try to do this all this week. And when I have a cute new outfit I will go out to a bar.

Maybe.

:/

Happy Birthday, Morrissey!